A wild thing may say wild things
in seven years, part 2
Let’s return to the ninth-grade reading syllabus.
Do you remember? I do.
That really ruins the “7 years” thing, doesn’t it? Remembering the 9th grade like the back of my hand.
The ninth grade led me to my first boyfriend.
Ben was in my math class; I did not do well in math class. Maybe because numbers make no sense to me, maybe due to distraction. Who’s to say, really. Either way, I got in a lot of trouble that year. Regarding math class, regarding Ben.
Ben also found himself in trouble that year. Regarding my best friend Ella.
I was introduced to love with a chip on my shoulder.
What did make sense to me was American playwright Arthur Miller’s 1953 classic, “The Crucible”. Featuring a few of my favorite things - young women, witchcraft and adultery. Even if you pretend that you don’t like those things, you have to admit, they make a good read; and let’s be honest, you are probably just pretending.
In case you forgot, here’s a refresher.
When John Proctor tries to cut off his adulterous fling with Abigail, she ends up starting the Salem witch trials in revolt, claiming that John’s wife Elizabeth is a witch in an effort to get revenge. Do you remember now?
In act one, John says, Abigail! You’re wild! Get outta here!
And Abigail says, “A wild thing may say wild things, but not so wild I think” because girlfriend knows John is actually still into her.
THEN he has the audacity to gaslight her and say “I will cut off my hand before I’ll ever reach for you. Wipe it out of mind—we never touched, Abby”
Harsh.
So, one thing leads to another. And boom. We’re burning witches at the stake.
All because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. Nice going, John.
You see, girls don’t just…go crazy. We’re not born crazy, we’re driven to that point by those in the front seat. Pacification to play passenger princess is all fun and games until you’re the one being called the only psychotic bitch at the ice rink. Abigail wouldn’t have woken up one day wanting to claim ‘witch’ if not for John.
Roxie Hart wasn’t a villain in “Chicago”, her hand was forced by Fred Casely.
Do you see the pattern? Behind every crazy woman is some guy that drove her there. I’m of the opinion that we should avoid the killing, but file it under a flare for the dramatics. It does make for better media.
Okay, now I sound like the crazy one.
But, as we all know, the hot/crazy scale is alive and well.
And everyone knows who these guys would be picking during a game of FMK if Abigail or Roxie’s names were involved. Sorry, Elizabeth.
On the subject of Arthur Miller, I’d be amiss not to mention the fact that young Arthur could kinda get it. Apparently, Marilyn Monroe thought so, too. In another case of life imitating art, they began a salacious affair when Miller was still married to Mary Slattery. Marilyn was married to Joe DiMaggio.
Speaking of Mary, isn’t there a commandment about that? Thou Shalt not Covet?
My attraction to Arthur Miller made more sense upon the realization that Adrien Brody was cast as Miller in the 2022 film “Blonde” starring Ana De Armas (which scored a dismal 42% on Rotten Tomatoes). I couldn’t force myself to sit through it, but I do have a thing for Adrien. It’s probably the nose. I’d explain further but it’s not appropriate. All you need to know is, if Adrien Brody’s name was tossed into a round of FMK, he would be spared.
We can assume that Marilyn must have ranked high on the hot/crazy scale, because Arthur Miller was all about it. They are still auctioning off the love letters he wrote to her. You can always tell a writer by their love letters.
I will kiss you and hold you close to me and sensational things will then happen. (…) I will get HUNGRY . . (…)
I will come again to the kitchen, pretending you are not there and discover you again. And as you stand there cooking breakfast, I will kiss your neck and your back (…) and the eggs will burn.[Meeting you] meant that I must face myself and what I am. It meant that I must put down those fearfully protective arms of reticence and blushing stupidity, and put my arms around the one I loved and face the startling, incredible, simply glorious fact that I am a tender man and not the fierce idiot I have tried-and failed-to become. (…)
Those are exactly the kind of words that would make me want to overthrow my Puritan community. You have to admit, Miller had a way with them. Marilyn wasn’t born crazy (I mean, maybe she was. She kind of had a lot going on, from what I gather). But, let’s give her the benefit of the doubt and say she was driven there when he wrote that bit about letting the eggs burn, then later, said he regretted marrying her.
Would she have claimed witch?
Would you?
Can I?
Where would you rather be on the hot/crazy scale, anyways? Would you rather be hot and crazy or ugly and have all your wits about you?
because personally…
Enhance your reading experience with today’s Blog pairing menu:
Catchy tune: Linger by The Cranberries
Light bev: Fine fruit smoothie