Burning, Burning, Burnt

Phrase, meet sensation

Some pictures burn so bright.
Even if you close your eyes, it’s like looking up at the sky in the middle of nowhere. Nowhere is probably just the suburbs of South Florida. But I guess nowhere has been a lot of different places. Spin the globe, it doesn’t really matter, they all had the same sky. And when I looked up, sometimes all I could see were stars.
For just a second, it was like nothing else had ever existed.
Wow, there’s so many.
Wow, they’re so bright.
Then, I’d look away, spin the globe, restart, and eventually, forget.
But sometimes, I close my eyes and all I can see are…

The pictures in my head that this metaphor was referring to are not like stars that only come out at night, or an old photograph that fades the longer it hangs around - these just seem to get more vivid with every passing day. More vivid, and more…annoying. When that vivid image hits, for just a second, nothing else has ever existed. Just that. Permanently plastered on the television screen in the back of my brain.
The. Screen. Is. Defunct

According to the Samsung website, the connection i’m trying to lead you to is actually called ‘Burn-in’. A mark that is left on your however-many-inch LED screen. A phenomenon caused by leaving a fixed image up for too long.
It remains in its refusal to fade. Annoying as ever.
Change the channel. The burn-in is still there, lingering ominously. A ghost of a tv-show watched three days ago, a movie paused mid-way through, a commercial for something arbitrary: Toyotathon. Kohls cash for holiday shoppers. A new can’t-miss episode of ‘The View’.
You get it.
That’s what I have. Burn-ins.
Phrase, meet sensation. Because you know I can’t stand to suffer in silence.

Things don’t just come and go like seasons, they stick. Now called stuck, because somewhere along the line both ‘forgive and forget’ found themselves fixed images. Overstayed their welcome and laid claim on future thoughts with sticky fingers.
…No, I didn’t just discover what memories are (ha ha). This is the realization that you can no longer look at someone without a burn-in. The feeling when you can’t drive past a place, move through a day on the calendar or hear a song without the knowing that touching that memory means feeling something scarred over it.

Kohls cash, forever stamped on flashbacks of competitions. Change the channel.
Toyotathon draped over entire relationships. Change.
Can’t-miss episodes of canceled Thanksgiving dinners.
Change, Change, Change.
Look away, spin the globe, restart.

Now I’m squinting through burn-ins like sunspots, and other metaphors for
‘I just can’t see clearly anymore’. There are transgressions projected like transparent films over classroom boards - things that make me wish closing my eyes only led to seeing more stars.
Because now, it’s like nothing else has ever existed before.

Enhance your reading experience with today’s Blog pairing menu:
Feature film: Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
Catchy tune: Flux - Ellie Goulding