Certified Lover Girl

“masterfully crafted and totally cliché”

The first thing you will come to learn about me, and also hit Canadian rapper Aubrey Graham otherwise known as Drake, is that I’m a certified lover girl (Drake is a boy, but according to his album title we are both, at our core, certified lovers).

I have never loved without letting it completely devour me whole. I just don’t know how to – it isn’t in my blood. I come at love like the willing prey of a boa constrictor. Kind of a, ‘take all of me’ approach, you know? The second thing you will learn about me is that I never learn when the first thing goes terribly, terribly wrong. Once I have been devoured, digested and dislodged I wait patiently in line hoping to be chosen when it comes time for seconds.
Call it desperation but I am nothing if not a people pleaser.

This doesn’t strictly apply to romantic relationships but also to my creature comforts, friendships and career loves. My daily loves, my lifetime loves and overarching never ending loves. Really what I am saying is, it’s starting to seem like my very heart itself is a star-crossed lover, it’s pieces never destined to be together. Being a certified lover girl in this day in age is a tough job. I have become an endless giver of second, third, fourth and fifth chances and a weaver of tall tales, created to explain the wrong doings of others and crafted to soften the blows to my own ego. It is both a part time job and creative outlet, depending on how you look at it. Do you think I could add it to my resume?

My approach to love, akin to Drake’s sixth studio album, can be slammed by critics just as they did ‘Certified Lover Boy’ - as “masterfully crafted and totally cliché” (The Daily Targum), and a “boring, bloated, disappointment” (NME). Rate it 3 stars. Discuss with your friends in the car that all the songs sound the same. That’s what I’m starting to do, anyways, with the whole love thing - not the album. I’ve never actually listened to the whole album. I don’t even really like Drake that much.
But I’m starting to agree with the critics either way.

Yours always,

CLG

Enhance your reading experience with today’s Blog pairing menu:
Catchy tune: Best I Ever Had - Drake