I was never in the habit of closing cabinets, so he always had to close them when we were done. Eventually he mentioned how much it annoyed him – the open doors littering the kitchen like confetti. Confetti conveniently hiding out of sight until you stand back and look up.
Closing cabinets – that’s called ‘the price of admission’, or at least, that’s what this guy on youtube who hosts Ted Talks called it.
The small annoying things other people do that you have to put up with.
Your patience being the ticket granting you their presence. Their bad habit being the thing you have to take like a pill in order to keep them in your life.
Swallow it. Move on.
Maybe they are always a little late, or mouth breathe.
Leave kitchen cabinets open or leave.
That last one doesn’t make sense, because you can’t take someone leaving like a pill in order to keep them. But I try anyways.
I swallow it. I move on.
Let me save you some time and youtube ads - the whole idea of the price of admission is that no one is perfect. You can go from person to person and continue to find something wrong with everyone. At first it might be hidden out of sight, but if you stand back and look up, you’ll continue to find a price for every show. If it seems like a free show, it’s probably not worth watching (that wasn’t in the ted talk but I have very high entertainment standards).
And eventually, you just have to figure out if the price is worth paying… if you mind closing cabinets. If you can swallow their pill.
Personally, I was never in the habit – so he had to close them when we were done.
I’ll be frank with you. I’ve never had to think about the price of admission that much. To me, it seems so clear that you would have to accept someone’s little faults in order to love them completely. Isn’t that obvious?
But what happens when the little things become the big things.
Let’s call it in…flation
Insurmountable incomprehensible indecisive inexcusable inaccessible…. that’s the one.
At first the fee was just a one off, and then a mistake, and now I’m worried it’s going to become a habit much like my inability to close cabinets.
It’s not like I can’t pay it. I just don’t know how much longer I can take it.
I wrote that opening line – the cabinet one – weeks ago.
See, the blog was supposed to move along about him closing my cabinets until he wasn’t around anymore, thus leading to me learning to close them myself (which, I think i’m doing a good job at). The last line was supposed to be “Now i’m in the habit of closing cabinets” or something.
It was still in my head – I’ve been busy. Not too busy to think about it, just too busy to put it into words. I moved to Toronto and am still trying to put together my apartment – my little apartment by the lake.
That’s where the cabinets are.
The cabinet line came before we watched the movie “Past Lives” thus triggering a confusing bout of questioning for us both. In the movie, the main character’s price of admission is that she leaves. She leaves her childhood love and no matter what, they can’t align with each other. She gives up. They’re barely ever shown in the same shot. He tries, he even flies across the world to see her. But by then she’s with someone else. He hits her with this line about how he liked her for who she is, and who she is, is someone who leaves.
You can’t take someone leaving like a pill in order to keep them in your life.
But we tried.
It’s not even that I can’t. It’s just that I don’t know how much longer I can.
So now i’m in this little apartment by the lake. I try to keep busy, so I don’t think about it, but the uncertainty hangs over my head like a raincloud.
And the weather has been awful lately. Very…wet.
I try not to think about it, because it will go one of two ways. One way, i’m delivering a line from a 2023 romance slash drama and the other… i’m not.
I don’t want to.
So, anyways.
Now I’m in the habit of closing cabinets.
Enhance your reading experience with today’s Blog pairing menu:
Feature Film: Past Lives
Lil’ Snack: Baked Oatmeal (berry)