I’ve been blindsided a lot for a girl who should have learned to wear glasses. But as we both know the only ones I seem to have are rose-colored.
We’ve used that bit before. I’m beginning to hate that idiom, color, phrase, idea - my habit of ameliorating the actions of others.
Are humans doomed to repeat cycles?
Speaking of cycles, I’ve become gentle. That was laundry humor.
Anyways, Gentle.
First with you and now, after a lifetime of self-directed aggression, myself.
Me. Like an out of body experience I’ve watched myself become comfortable with the delusion of futures that don’t exist, paths that won’t be walked, potential that won’t be reached, promises that won’t be made. Or kept.
An out of body experience, call it self-directed obsession. Like sliding doors, one action can change everything. Different futures hanging in the balance.
I don’t remember watching that movie, sliding doors, but my mom liked it. This was Gwyneth Paltrow before Goop. Before she made vagina candles, and people could still take her seriously - or at least not think of putting jade eggs up their…whatever.
Like I was saying, there’s this whole sliding doors situation, hence the name.
We watch two parallel realities play out for Gwyneth. One where she makes her train and arrives home to find her boyfriend fucking some other girl, and another where she misses the train (that’s the door. It slid), gets home late and doesn’t catch him in the act. According to IMDB (give me a break here, okay?) in that reality she slowly drives herself to misery due to growing suspicions over infidelity.
You get the idea. Go find it on amazon prime if you really care, but it probably feels dated. Now, if she missed the train, she’d probably just call an uber.
20-30 years ago, movies with plots like this were all the rage, a la Ashton Kutcher in The Butterfly Effect (don’t really remember that one, either), where one little thing changes the course of the future. But in reality, isn’t that everything? Doesn’t every choice we make have the ability to change our futures? We just aren’t sure what it’s changing until later, and we never get to see what else would have happened like a 1998 romantic-comedy-drama with a 65% rating on rotten tomatoes.
This is where opportunity cost ties in, but we’ve covered that on past episodes.
Fill in the blanks. Figure it out.
I’m not sure i’d have written Sliding Doors that way, but I could have. You know, ‘write what you know’, blahblah, i’m beginning to think that phrase is stupid because all I write about is you and sometimes it seems like I don’t know the first thing about you. Now I can’t write anything, can’t finish anything, can’t concentrate, haunted by secrets under sheets and mistakes on mattresses marked ‘adventure’.
Wait, Is that my sliding door?
Do you think humans are doomed to repeat cycles?
Repeat cycles
Repeat cycles
Repeat cycles
So here I sit, finding myself gentle. The summer’s always sweetest right before the season turns bitter. That’s to say I’m always happiest before the fall.
And I have been.
Really.
My whole life up until this point has been about falling, or should I say, trying not to.
That’s what I know. So that’s what I write.
And that’s another door I have refused to let slide.
Enhance your reading experience with today’s Blog pairing menu:
Bit watch: Breaking Bad?
Catchy tune: Bruised by Jack’s Mannequin